POWERtalk Pollokshields Blog

For many people, one of the scariest things in life is to stand up in front of a group of people and give a speech.  It doesn’t matter whether the group is friends - e.g. at a wedding – or whether it is a group of strangers, the feelings are the same.  We can prepare well and practise but it does not take away that fear.  Of course, the more one speaks in public the more confident one becomes but for many the occasion is a ‘one off’.  So how can we deal with these fears and positively enjoy the occasion?

‘Fear’ or F.E.A.R. is simply ‘Future Expectations Appearing Real’.  We create our own fearful feelings through our imagination – the ‘What ifs’

‘What if I forget what I am going to say?’

‘What if I stumble over the words?’

‘What if I bore everyone?’

Why does this negative internal chatter affect us so much and how can we change it?

We have a conscious and subconscious part of our brain.  The conscious is that part which takes in information and makes decisions.  The subconscious controls the reactions to the messages sent to it by the conscious, it never questions or makes decisions, it just believes what it is told.  Consequently all those negative messages our conscious is sending to the subconscious are being acted upon.  The result is our stomach churns, our mouth goes dry and we feel really nervous.  To change the way we feel we need to change those negative voices into positive ones. 

The phrases need to be in the first person ‘I’.  When the subconscious hears ‘I’ it becomes alert and ready for a command.  The instruction should be in the present tense (it’s happening now) and it needs to be specific and positive.

For example –

‘I am speaking clearly and confidently.’

Not

‘I am not stumbling over my words.’

Practise this and replace every negative statement with a positive one.

In everyday life avoid speaking negatively to your friends or colleagues, it has the same effect on your subconscious.  Instead of saying ‘I am really worried/nervous about this.’ You could say, ‘I am working at controlling my nerves.’

Finally, remember to believe in yourself and overcome those last minute nerves.  I recall many years ago, standing in the wings of a stage waiting to make my entrance in my first amateur dramatic play.  I tried to remember my first line (or any other line for that matter) and nothing!  I was beginning to go into panic when I stopped and told myself – ‘I’ve learnt my lines, I have successfully rehearsed them, just trust yourself.’  And sure enough, as I stepped on to the stage the words began to flow.

Remember, when you come to make your speech do your preparation, practise your speech, think positively and trust yourself .  Do all of these things and enjoy the experience.  

Lesley Smith

You are sat down with a blank piece of paper, ready to write your speech; an hour later the page is still blank. You want to be entertaining and engaging, funny even, but the words just aren’t coming to you. 

Here are some top tips to inspire you to write an awesome speech. 

1. Know your audience. Identifying who your audience is will help with setting the pitch tone and content of your speech, use the right language and engage your audience appropriately. Is your speech in front of professionals or a casual setting? Setting the pitch and tone at the right level will help you to get maximum engagement from your audience. 

2. Write an outline. Much like writing a story, a speech needs a beginning, middle and end. By writing an outline of what you want to say will help when it comes to adding detail. What are the main points that you want to cover? What is the reason behind giving the speech? What do you want to achieve? 

3. How long does it need to be? Keep this in mind will help when it comes to fleshing out the details. You may have a set time that you need to stick to or the freedom for it to be as long as you like but make sure that no matter what the length, you keep to the time you set otherwise, you could run the risk of waffling which will detract from the main points you want to cover.

4. Get creative. Now you have your main points, it’s time to flesh out the details. Let your typing or writing run amok. Give yourself complete and utter freedom to write down whatever comes to you. The more writing you do at this point the better your speech will be. Even if you think of something crazy, write it down. At this stage, it doesn't matter. 

5. Editing and proofing. Following your outline as a guide, it is now time to give your writing some structure. Take out the bits that don’t support your speech, focus on your intentions, take out any waffle. Expand on the bits you know to be important. 

6. Practice. Perform your speech in front of a friend or family member and ask for honest feedback. This not only gives you the opportunity to time your speech but also to cut out or add anything to make it better. Once you have edited your speech, then recite it again and again until you are comfortable. The more you know your speech the more natural it will be when you come to deliver it. 

7. Enjoy. Even if you are delivering to a room full of professionals, if you prepared well and comfortable with your speech you will come across as confident and enjoying sharing with the room.

Next time you need to write an all-important speech, following these tips will help you to not just write a speech, but to write an awesome speech.

Body language is our non-verbal way of expressing our thoughts and feelings. We gesture with our body and use facial expressions without even realising it. Being aware of how we use our body language is a powerful tool when it comes to the art of negotiation and persuasion and will help fully engage your listener/s.

Once you learn how to use your body language, you will naturally be able to read others which will help you gauge situations quickly and adjust your behaviour as necessary. This is great in meetings especially if you are needing to really capture the attention of who you are talking to.

Here are some top tips to consider when you are in your next meeting or giving your next presentation or speech.

1.      Use open body language – make sure your arms are unfolded and your hands are unclenched. This shows the listener that you are being open and will help convey honesty and integrity. If you have to deliver bad news or face a difficult meeting where there is the potential of a sticky situation, you will most likely see your audience with arms crossed, facing away from you and not making eye contact. If you mirror their behaviour then you will hit a stalemate. By showing you are open allows them to feel more at ease and they are far more likely to engage.

2.      Make eye contact – No matter if you are speaking to one person, a few people or a whole room full of people, eye contact is important. Of course, there is a fine balance between holding eye contact with the same person for too long and not holding it for long enough. Too long and you are in a creepy staring match, not long enough will make you appear disengaged. A few seconds at a time is more than adequate. If you speaking to a room full of people then pick out people left, right and centre and alternate every few seconds.

3.      Avoid touching your face and fidgeting – If you frequently touch your face or fidget you will come across as being uncomfortable, untrustworthy, dishonest and shifty. It really won’t matter how great your subject is if you let your body language contradict what you are talking about.

4.      Use open hand gestures – Be careful to not overdo the gestures with your hands, this can be distracting from what you are saying. Having your hands opened palmed will convey openness, sharing and trust. Unless you are putting across a serious issue and it is intentional. Never point, this will show aggression and will turn your audience right off.

5.      Smile – Unless you are delivering bad news of course! The simple act of smiling will show warmth and trustworthiness. Your audience will be put at ease and feel more relaxed and open. Smiling changes your whole persona and has a knock-on effect, if you are smiling you tend to make others smile. Much like how a yawn is contagious.

6.      Posture – If you are standing to give a presentation or speech, stand with your shoulders back and chin up, this will convey confidence and also frees your diaphragm which will help to keep your voice loud and clear.

Bonus Tip: Film yourself giving your presentation or speech so you can see how you are gesturing, the facial expressions you are making, and any bad habits you may be displaying without even realising it. Most of us are self-critical when watching ourselves back on film, so try not to be too hard on yourself.

Written by Sarah English for Birmingham Speakers Club - 08 September 2020.